America: Where we have a bridge AND a statue. Take that, South Sudan!
There’s not much to say. It’s a flag adorned… thing that says USA, just in case you forget what all those stars and stripes are for.
It reminds me of that really old episode of The Simpsons where Bart goes to France and they get the Albanian kid and Homer laughs at the notion of the Albanian flag being a two-headed eagle on a red banner as if a beach towel with inaccurate astronomy in the corner is inherently more dignified.
Of course, I must assume that the tree depicted on this is a Real American Cedar, due to it being the most patriotic of all trees.
The official name for the… nose smell flavour or whatever, is “Vanilla Pride” which, according to my possibly biased thesaurus can be a synonym for “White Pride.” I’m onto your game, Little Trees.
Starry Stripe? Is “Stars and Stripes” off limits or something? Whatever. Suffice to say, whether wrapping presents, engaging in some light bondage, or hog-tying that there Yankee that trespassed on your land to ask for directions, you will never have to use some fancy big-city ivory tower ribbon ever again.
Wait a minute. $2.97? That’s a dollar more than the other stuff in the picture! The price of liberty, indeed. Sniff.
America is a lot like the noble butterfly. Beautiful (hence the redundant phrase “America the Beautiful”), elegant, fluttering its giant, nuclear armed wings innocently and causing great big crashing hurricanes of freedom to assault Commie-Nazis across the globe. Pollinating the flowers of democracy with their special liberty dust… why isn’t the butterfly the national animal again? Call your congressman today.
I assume the decal with the British flag are the slimy little pupa such a beautiful butterfly emerged from.
Of course, even though these are shaped like boots, they’re not actually boots. It must be that American sense of humour.
Outside of some hypothetical chain email about standing on/for something, I don’t think there’s any time standing on the flag goes over too well. Well, unless you’re a traitorous hippy or jealous foreigner (redundant phrase, I know, sorry). But I guess putting your feet in/on something that’s only bearing the flag is okay?
I guess that’s why I haven’t found actual boots with the American flag on them. That and if they did make them, you’d be legally required to saunter at all times because, as we all know, these colours don’t run.
How’s this for biting political commentary: By making America the mirror itself, this guarantees the country never has to look at itself and come face to face to what it has done.
How’s this for a non-sequitir: By making America the mirror itself, this guarantees the country is never revealed to be a vampire due to it’s lack of reflection.
(Yes, that is my sexy leg in the reflection.)
I suppose if the USA has to go and do something in it’s overzealous way, rocking is indeed one of the least harmful. Unless it’s something like Fall Out Boy, am I right? (Sorry.)
If there’s Christian rock, why not Patrirock? Someone get on that. (Don’t.)
Have you got a proud American dog, bursting at the seams with pride and Iams? Well, make sure everyone knows your dog is just as much a patriot as you with this fashion statement. Yes, this is a denim jacket, for dogs, with the American flag stitched to the back. For dogs.
Of course, dress a pug up in this and I’ll squee like everyone else.
It would be hypocritical of me to scoff at someone displaying public photographs of American flags, of course. So please revel in my awesome hypocrisy.
By the looks of the America shown in the picture, it could use a bloody carpenter and a lick of paint. Mindless jingoism or subtle infrastructure social commentary? You decide.
This is something of a record as no part of the phrase “American flag adorned Marilyn Monroe themed knife” is necessary or even welcome in a sane universe with any regard for physical laws of reality. And judging from Wacko Jacko and his eyes that seem to follow me everywhere on the right, maybe I should just make Unnecessary Celebrity Placements and be done with it.
It’s like… do you know those horrible chintzy “collector’s plates” with pictures of celebrities and/or Jesus on them that only the sad, alone or spinsterish really like? It’s like that except they’re knives, which adds a whole new layer of classlessness to the whole charade.
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Unnecessary American Flags 