Flavored Lip Balm

Tastes like liberty. No, wait, that’s peppermint.

Keep those lips free and proud. Remember, loose lips… make guys happy at least.

Colombian Supremo

Sorry coffee people, that’s the Republic of Colombia, not the District of Columbia. Try again.

To be fair, you have to let Ethnic Carving Man on the packaging there know who’s boss. Yeah, you’re number one, but number one at servicing America’s caffeine habit. Know your place, Ethnic Carving Man!

And at least they didn’t make the Columbian > Caffeine > Drugs connection I just did. Aw crap, I’m an awful human being.

Kick Balls

Is “Hacky Sack” trademarked or something? (Yes.)

There are many sports that utilise such balls all over the world, as such, these kick balls need a little bit of American know how and ingenuity to stand out. Then they put the flag on it instead. They look like fierce candy-striped spherical multi-toothed horrors to me but I think I’m just working through some issues or something.

Jesus Decal

“LOL he’s here take the shot guys”

“Piss off, Jesus.”

Best Buy Checkout Station

It might seem redundant but who’ll be the smart one when the King of Spain tries to colonise checkout 10 only to be denied?

Also, kudos to the larger flag to the left for keeping the wall free of the foreign horde.

Plastic Snowmen

The holiday season is upon us! And even snowmen have enough common sense to know they’re made from the greatest frozen water lucky enough to fall softly on the greatest suburbs on the planet.

Feel proud as Fat Snowman Cop, Fat Snowman Sailor and Fat Snowman Some Guy salute while dangling head first from your (hopefully) red, white and blue Christmas tree. Although with all that heavy clothing, surely they’re going to melt and die horribly?