Articles

United States Declaration of Independence

In Eagles!, wut on November 25, 2011 by John Layfield

Who the hell decided that the United States’ declaration of independence didn’t have enough MURICA in it? A genius, that’s who. That original declaration of independence was SO 1776. Spruce that crap up! Flags! Bells! Eagles! The disembodied upper torso of George Washington haunting a mirror!

Hey, there’s 30 stars on that flag! Calm down there, Betsy Ross, it’s not 1848 yet!

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4 Responses to “United States Declaration of Independence”

  1. Exclamation points!

  2. Washington isn’t wearing an American flag pin?

    Then un-american p.o.s.!

  3. I like to imagine that Washington opened a portal right in the middle of a giant flag.

    • Maybe Washington can move from one flag to another instantaneously. Like those portraits in Harry Potter or something.

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